Playing It Safe: What Not To Say To Mum

It seems as though I have been spending more time at home recently which means that I have been getting in the way of my mum a lot more than usual. So I have now gained a bit of experience in how to relax whilst avoiding the angry glare or lectures of the mother. Well actually, perhaps I need to do slightly more avoiding and less gaining of experience. But if you want to live through your teenage and young adult life unscathed, then please pay attention to what I have to say and DO NOT say these things to your mother.

Yeah yeah, I’ll do it in a bit.

You would be forgiven for uttering this statement after being told to do a certain chore in the house. The only problem is you will be forgiven by me but not your mum. If you go ahead and say this then prepare yourself for a yell of “do it NOW!” No, you will not be able to persuade her that you will tidy that messy pile of books after you’ve finished your essay (or Candy Crush game) so you may as well get up and do whatever she has asked you to do before a storm brews up in your room. 

But I hoovered the other day.

Dear friend. The response to this will of course be the ‘you ate the other day, does that mean you don’t want to eat today?’ If you continue to argue then prepare yourself for a lecture on how a person’s home should always be clean. ‘If you die today, people will think this guy was so dirty!’ Umm no mum, they will probably be thinking how sad it is that he got electrocuted with the hoover after it exploded due to overuse. I always find it funny that there is a time limit on how long a room can go without hoovering. This has nothing to do with if the room is dusty but is based merely on the fact that two days have passed since the last ‘cleanse.’ However, try to say this to your mother and expect to receive the front end of the vacuum cleaner in your face.  

I want to go study/live abroad.

Unless your mum has studied or lived abroad herself, then there is no chance you can utter this sentence without some sort of backlash. This perhaps is something that you can’t really complain about as their reluctance has a lot to do with their love for you and worry about your well-being. At the same time, it can be a bit annoying especially if you really want to go study abroad so this matter has to be handled with tact. Otherwise expect a teary and angry response back – or a stony NO. 

Can we eat noodles today?

This may not apply to you but I love noodles. So whenever my mum asks what I want to eat, that is always the answer. It has become the clichΓ© of the family now but sadly, it hasn’t become a clichΓ© for my taste buds. They are still not tired of it. They still crave noodles. Noodles are easy to make so I am easy to please. Don’t say that to my mum, she’ll tell me to make them. After I’ve ‘hoovered’ of course.

I want to buy a motorbike

I’ve went over this before in a previous post. Just NO. 

We bought a dishwasher to wash dishes. Not for me to stare at it whilst I wash them.

I think it will take a while for people to realise that dishwashers are more hygienic and waste less water than washing dishes by hand. Some people rinse the dishes before stacking them. What on earth is that all about? If you ever want proof that humans cannot live with robots then you have it right there. We can’t trust them to wash our spaghetti Bolognese off our plate, how are we meant to trust Robonanny? 

So those are a few pointers. If you have any lifesaving tips then pop them down below but I will end by saying, take this post utterly seriously πŸ˜‰ At the same time don’t forget to give your mum the love and respect she deserves. 

Until Next Time

A Worried Student

26 thoughts on “Playing It Safe: What Not To Say To Mum

  1. This cracked me up. Aw, you little noodle! That bit was especially entertaining.
    Must say, the study abroad one is one which I’ve…observed? My brother mentioned it. The answer was “No!” Even though Dad did XD


  2. I’m residing in a hostel far away from home, at the moment. Your post just made me reminisce the years spent with my mom who had made it her life’s mission to drive me insane! Now I would give anything to hear all those constant nagging and frustrating replies.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Love the post as always!

    But I must say, I’ve said all of these to my Mum and only had problems with wanting a moped – but that’s because she had one when she was my age and it was only as powerful as a bike so she just thinks they’re useless! Although, I suppose my Mum is very far into the odd side of life… I’m thinking of moving to Germany or Iceland, a European country, once I’ve finished my degree and stuff to become a teacher, and she said that it was fine as long as I could come back home for a holiday and she could come to me for a holiday, which is pretty neat!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is so true! Cleaning is something my mum is always asking me to do and every time I say that I will clean in a minute, she will give me one of her questioning looks and I will literally put everything away and do as she says out of fear! Love that part about dishwashers. It was particularly entertaining. I can imagine doing the dishes while having a dishwasher right next to you. So funny! (Not laughing at you, this is the story of almost every teenager).

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mom and student here… yep! I don’t rinse before I load, that’s what pre-rinse cycle is for if they are going to sit until the load is full (and that lil round thing the bottom of the dish washer is a chopper for food particles). Living abroad, envious! Of course, your mom says that also because she wants you close so she knows you’re safe and being respomsible, because crossing the street is safer where you are rather than a crossing foreign one 😊Pile of books, get your learn on! Mine are already arriving in the post for next semester. Now, I need to go clean up this mess my daughter will be home in an hour and I want it to look like I was busy all day (I learned that from my kids!).

    Liked by 1 person

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